Hyperemesis Gravidarum: The Truth Behind the Struggle
Hyperemisis Gravidarum (HG):
The Truth Behind the Struggle
Pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, excitement, and anticipation for a new life. But for many, the reality is much darker and far more isolating. If you're reading this, it's possible you're dealing with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), a condition that goes beyond morning sickness, beyond nausea, and can feel like an unrelenting, crushing battle for both your body and mind.
I know this all too well. As a mother who’s experienced HG firsthand, I want to speak the raw, unfiltered truth about what it’s really like. HG is more than just feeling nauseous; it's a life-altering condition that can make you question how you’ll survive the next hour, let alone the next day.
What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?
HG is a severe form of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, far worse than the common “morning sickness” that many people experience. While most pregnant individuals might feel sick during the first trimester, those with HG face constant nausea and vomiting, leading to dehydration, weight loss, and an inability to keep food or fluids down. For me, it meant not being able to get out of bed for days on end, being hooked up to IV fluids in the hospital, and feeling physically broken every single day.
Unlike typical pregnancy nausea, HG doesn't magically go away after the first trimester. It lingers, sometimes for the entire pregnancy. You might feel like you’re drowning in your own body, constantly battling the urge to throw up, with no relief in sight. It’s a silent struggle, one that can be misunderstood or minimized by those who’ve never experienced it.
My Personal Battle with HG
I’m not just a therapist who helps clients through perinatal struggles; I am someone who has lived through it. I had two pregnancies marked by hyperemesis gravidarum, and I know exactly what it feels like to lose yourself in the struggle.
With my second pregnancy, I was caught off guard. I had already experienced HG with my first, but no one tells you that it could come back. The severe nausea and vomiting returned full force, and suddenly, I was once again dealing with the emotional toll that comes with this condition. I had to cancel plans, miss important events, and let down people I loved because I physically couldn’t get out of bed.
There were days I couldn’t even brush my teeth without vomiting. The mental and physical exhaustion felt like I was walking through quicksand. I felt trapped, both in my body and in my mind. I had moments of deep grief, grief for the experience I was missing out on, for the joy that should’ve been there, and for the person I had been before HG took over.
The Real Impact of HG: Physical and Emotional
HG doesn't just take a toll on your physical health. It affects your mental health, too. For me, the isolation was one of the hardest parts. No one really understands what you’re going through unless they've been there themselves. People will say, “Just try ginger, it’ll help!” or “Oh, I had morning sickness too!” But HG isn’t something that can be “fixed” with a few home remedies. It’s a long, relentless battle, and it leaves you feeling like you’re not even yourself anymore.
In my own journey, I struggled with feelings of guilt. I wasn’t able to enjoy my pregnancy. I wasn’t able to be the mom I wanted to be. I was often too sick to bond with my baby or even get excited about the milestones others might cherish.
But over time, I learned something incredibly important: it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel the grief, the frustration, and the hopelessness. This journey doesn’t make you any less strong, or any less capable. It simply makes you human.
Supporting Yourself Through HG
If you’re struggling with HG, know this: you are not alone. It may feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through, but I want you to know that there is hope, even when things seem bleak. There is support, and there are ways to make it through the storm, even when it feels like you’re drowning.
Reach out for help. HG is a medical condition that requires professional care. Don’t be afraid to ask for support from your healthcare providers, and if you're not getting the support you need, don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself.
Accept help from others. I know it’s hard to ask for help when you feel like you should be able to “tough it out,” but this is not something you should face alone. Let your friends, family, and even your partner step in and help with daily tasks, even if it’s just making sure you have a glass of water beside you.
Prioritize self-compassion. You are not failing as a parent if you’re not able to enjoy your pregnancy. You are surviving, and that’s a huge achievement. Take things one moment at a time, and allow yourself to feel what you feel.
Final Thoughts
Hyperemesis Gravidarum is brutal, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Your experience is valid, and there are people who understand. Whether it's reaching out to a therapist, joining support groups, or finding others who’ve experienced HG, community and support can help you heal.
If you’re struggling with HG, please reach out. As a perinatal therapist, I specialize in supporting individuals and families through the most difficult times in their reproductive journeys. You are worthy of care and support, and you deserve to feel heard and validated.